Living With Your Spouse During Divorce is a Bad Idea

Divorce matters are complicated for a variety of reasons. Divorces involve complex and heated emotional issues, affect the lives of both parties and their children, and can impact your financial security. Some people consider continuing to live with their spouse during the divorce proceeding. They also may think that keeping the family together can help the children through the transition. As we mentioned in a recent post, we strongly advocate against living with your future ex during your divorce case. The consequences far outweigh any benefits of doing so. In this article, we cover a few of the reasons why living with your spouse during a divorce is a bad idea.

Divorces Involve Conflict

Even the most amicable divorces can dredge up unexpected conflict. While you and your pending ex-spouse might agree that divorce is necessary, unless you have minimal assets and debts and no children, you will still have issues about which you disagree. You may not see eye-to-eye about alimony, how property should be divided, child custody, or any number of other life changing issues. The more complicated your divorce issues are, the more opportunity for disagreements. Most importantly, if you could have worked out your differences before, you wouldn’t be getting a divorce at all. Now that you are in a legal proceeding over these issues, if you live together there is simply too much opportunity to get drawn into arguments. These arguments cause further conflict and make a bad situation worse. You should leave all conflict resolutions to your divorce lawyer. They know how to “turn down the heat” and negotiate or litigate in your best interest.

Divorces are Emotional

While some parties are able to maintain a civil demeanor during divorce proceedings, those divorces are the exception, not the rule. Divorces are inherently emotional. Deciding to separate from someone with whom you thought you’d share a lifetime is a difficult and complicated experience. Combined with the complexity of legal proceedings, it is likely that matters will get heated inside and outside the courtroom. Living together is likely to lead to blowout fights and screaming matches about your relationship, your children, your finances, and any number of other issues. It is better to keep distance between you and your soon-to-be ex. You’re much better off focusing on resolving the legal disputes and preparing for your future.

It’s Not Better for Your Children

You are getting divorced for a reason. Your marital relationship is fundamentally not working, and you have decided that you will be better off apart. If you have children together, you have already decided that your family will not be better off by “staying together for the kids.” Trust that instinct. Divorce is going to be a transition for everyone involved. Trying to make the process smoother for your children by living in the same home often does more harm than good. It is more likely that your children will witness arguments, or being passive-aggressive, or being simply being unhappy around one another. Exposing your children to your conflict every day is likely to cause more harm than simply having one party move out and live on their own.

It Will Limit Your Ability to Move On

Divorces take time. Each divorce case is unique and the time frame varies. You may be going through the process for six months or for two or more years. The time frame is often related to the nature of the disputes involved, the types and values of assets being distributed, and child related issues. If you are waiting for the divorce to finalize before moving out, you are essentially putting the next chapter of your life on hold. It is unlikely, for example, that you would feel comfortable to begin dating while still living in the same home.

Seasoned Legal Guidance

Our highly effective divorce lawyers in Las Vegas are ready to guide you through all of your divorce issues, including complicated property divisions, alimony, and child custody matters. We are dedicated to defending your rights and protecting your family. Our experienced legal team has handled the most complex and sensitive divorce law matters for over two decades. Attorneys Jennifer V. Abrams and Vincent Mayo offer courtesy phone consultations at no charge. Call 702-222-4021 to speak directly with one of them. They will put your mind at ease and explain how to best resolve this difficult time in your life.