Coping With Contested Divorce

Even an uncontested divorce can be emotionally challenging, combining feelings of loss and any number of other emotions. But when the divorce is contested, dealing with an angry ex can make the process even worse. Contested divorces are likely to last longer than uncontested divorces, involve significant conflict, and thus carry higher legal fees. In this article our contested divorce lawyers in Las Vegas discuss a few tips for coping with contested divorce.

Minimize Communication with Your Ex

In contested divorces, spouses tend to be very upset with one another. Harsh words are likely to be spoken. Divorcing spouses know how to get under each other’s skin. The best thing to do is to limit communication with your spouse to those that are absolutely necessary, such as coordinating the exchange of shared children. All matters pertaining to the divorce should be filtered through your divorce attorneys, not discussed directly with one another.

If you can use third parties as go-betweens for other matters, such as picking up furniture or other personal items, all the better. If you have personal matters that need discussion, it helps to discuss them in writing via email in order to avoid heated emotions spilling out. After you write the email, read it with an objective mind and remove any content that could make matters worse. If possible, wait 24 hours before re-reading the email. Taking a one day break after composing your message may cause you to view the tone of the email in a different light.

Make Plans with Family and Friends

Contested divorces can make people feel isolated. This is especially true due to the COVID-19 social restrictions. Your friends and your family are there to support you, whether times are good or bad. Make plans to see your loved ones (even if it’s just on Zoom or Facetime), and stick to them. Don’t give in to the temptation of last minute cancellations. These experiences will remind you of the good things you have going in your life.

Be thoughtful about who you choose to share your thoughts with – for two reasons. First, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse may have friends in common. There’s no need to be paranoid about whom you should trust, but error on the conservative side. Most importantly, if your concerns are about your contested divorce case, your divorce lawyer is the best person to speak with. There is no substitute for the experience of an expert divorce attorney.

Second, talking about non-divorce topics gives your mind a chance to clear. It’s easy to be focused on your contested divorce – even to the point of OCD. Bringing up positive topics causes a general feeling of well-being and can “get you out of your head.” But remember to listen as well. Your friends have their own lives – and their own positive aspects and their own concerns.

Stay Healthy – Mentally and Physically

Contested divorces can do a number on your mental and physical health. Stress is inevitable and it can cause bouts of negative thoughts and physical malaise. It is easy to spend time dwelling on the divorce proceedings. This can lead to unhealthy snacking, binge eating, and lack of motivation to exercise and otherwise be healthy. Some divorcing spouses may even turn to drugs or excessive alcohol to cope. These habits, in turn, make you feel worse. It’s a negative, self-reinforcing cycle. Breaking the cycle with healthy habits like eating better foods and getting regular exercise will not only make you feel better about how you look; it will make you feel better mentally as well. Even just 30 minutes of exercise a day has been shown to stave off anxiety and depression.

See a Counselor or Therapist

Sometimes it can be difficult to share openly with friends and family members. Talking to a professional can go a long way when you are feeling strained. There are counselors who specialize in contested divorce and the associated challenges. They understand what you are going through and know how to help you. Consider working with a counselor or therapist individually or joining a support group for divorcing and divorced parties to help get you through the low points and stay level. Your divorce lawyer should provide you with a list of professionals in your area to choose from.

Hire an Experienced Contested Divorce Lawyer

Talk to a divorce lawyer that specializes in contested divorces. They provide a greater value than a general practitioner or a divorce lawyer who mostly handles uncontested divorces. Our State Bar of Nevada Board Certified divorce lawyers have the dedication and institutional knowledge to guide you through all aspects of your contested divorce, from temporary spousal support and alimony to property division and child custody issues. They are familiar with the most complex and sensitive of issues. Both Jennifer V. Abrams and Vincent Mayo offer courtesy phone consultations at no charge. Call 702-222-4021 to speak directly with one of them about your important divorce matters.